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Serve to Be Great

The Heart of Leadership – An Interview With Mark Miller, Bestselling Author and Chick-fil-A Executive

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What makes leaders different?

As a bestselling author and Executive Vice President of Organizational Effectiveness at Chik-fil-A, Mark Miller learned over the years that only 10% of leadership relates to skills.  He realized that 90% of leadership is a function of the leader’s character, and there are five key elements of character that make leaders different.

In this interview, Mark identifies what sets leaders apart from the crowd by discussing some of the key concepts in his new book, The Heart Of Leadership: Becoming a Leader People Want to Follow.



Want to connect with Mark?

1) Get a FREE sample chapter of his new book

2) Visit his blog, Great Leaders Serve

3) Follow him on Twitter –  Mark Miller @LeadersServe

Thanks for reading this post!  As a gift, I’d like to give you this excellent eBook for FREE!  

CLICK HERE to learn more about the eBook, featuring chapters from John Spence, Jeff Klein, Charlie Kim, Michael Carroll, Ted Prince, David Marquet, and Ben Lichtenwalner.
Interviews, Leadership, Personal Development, Servant Leadership

The Infinite Value of Human Connection

Some time ago, I had a layover in the Charlotte airport on my way back to Gainesville.  It was lunchtime and I hadn’t eaten since the night before, so I decided to have some pizza and veggies while on my long layover.  
As I approached the restaurant, I was greeted by a very nice, middle-aged Indian woman with a wonderful smile, standing behind the glass case holding the food, and just barely able to see over the top of it.  
We had a very pleasant interaction for 20-30 seconds before I got to the business of selecting the pizza I would eat. 
I ended up sitting down at a table that allowed me to watch people approach her and order.  What I saw made me a little sad.  
I noticed that each person in the first six groups of people who approached her interacted with her in the exact same way.  They made no eye contact with her.  
When she asked how they were doing, they either didn’t answer at all, or just replied “OK” and immediately placed their order, without asking her how she was doing or even making eye contact.
I feel pretty confident in predicting that none of these people are very happy or successful.
Finally, a well-dressed young man arrived who looked like he was in a bit of a hurry.  Nevertheless, he looked the woman in the eyes, asked her how she was doing, and had a nice interaction with her for 15-20 seconds or so before placing his order.
I feel pretty confident in predicting that this young man is quite successful and happy.
If there is one key determining factor for success in life, no matter how we define success, I believe it is the ability to connect with other people in a way that results in a positive interaction.  Not only is having this ability essential for financial success, it is central to living a deeply fulfilling and happy life.  
The most successful people are the ones who can most consistently connect with people in positive, mutually helpful ways.
Napoleon Hill, who studied thousands of the most successful people in the world over a period of 20 years while working with Andrew Carnegie to produce the masterwork The Law of Success, often pointed out the absolute necessity for being able to consistently have positive, cooperative interactions with others.  
There is a passage in Law of Success where he pointed out how 9 out of 10 people he interviewed, who reported not being successful or happy, stated that the reason for their failure was that “opportunities just didn’t seem to come their way”.  
Hill then wrote that he is absolutely certain that if he were to observe these people for a day, he could point out numerous opportunities that they missed simply because of the negative interactions they had with people.
How valuable is positive human connection?  I would say it’s priceless.  But here’s a short story illustrating how it’s worth at least $1 billion.
Many years ago, an athletic, “popular” young man we’ll call Andrew, worked at a movie theater with a young man we’ll call Steven who, self admittedly was a little quirky and “nerdy”.  Despite their differences in levels of “coolness”, Andrew treated Steven with a lot of respect, and they ended up developing a strong relationship.  
Some years later, Steven was working at the local utility company in a position of influence.  Andrew applied for a position there, and Steven, remembering what solid character Andrew had, helped him get it.  
A few years after that, the two started an energy marketing company based on the experience they gained at the utility company, which now employs around 400 people, generates about $1 billion/year in revenue, and made them both multi-millionaires.  
Please, make it a habit to leave each person – even the woman taking your order at an airport restaurant – a little better off than you find them, even if you’re not feeling up to it.  


Thanks for reading this post!  As a gift, I’d like to give you this excellent eBook for FREE!  

CLICK HERE to learn more about the eBook, featuring chapters from John Spence, Jeff Klein, Charlie Kim, Michael Carroll, Ted Prince, David Marquet, and Ben Lichtenwalner.


Matt's Insights, Personal Development, Success In Life

The Magic of Giving

This simple little ad from Thailand made me cry.  But they were good tears; tears of inspiration.

The ad reminds us of how magical giving can be on three different levels.

We Benefit in the Worldly Sense

The first and most obvious benefit of giving is that people we’ve given to are likely to give back when we are in need, as the doctor does in the ad.

I talk a lot about giving when I interact with people before or after I give a speech.  I’ve heard numerous similar stories of people who gave without any expectation of getting anything in return, and were later the recipients of generosity when they were in need.

One example was of a man who mowed his neighbors lawns every time he mowed his lawn for years.  When the man fell ill and went to the hospital, he worried that his lawn and his neighbors lawns would go un-mowed.

But his daughter informed him that one of the neighbors immediately took up the tradition of mowing the lawns when he heard what happened.  No one had to ask the neighbor to do it.

We Receive the Benefit of Happiness

Even better than worldly benefit, giving makes us happy.  Research has shown that altruistic acts create happiness that has a deeper impact and lasts significantly longer than when we do things only for ourselves.

Also, people who witness an altruistic act receive the same amount of happiness that we receive from actually performing the act, which you probably noticed while you watched the video.

The Impact Could Be Tremendous

We never now how far one act of giving will go to impact our world.  In the video, one simple act of giving kept a boy from getting in trouble with the law.

Had he been arrested, he might have never become a doctor.  By preventing this with a simple act of generosity, imagine how many lives could be positively impacted by the actions of the generous man.

What can you do today to be more generous to those around you?  What could the impact be?





Thanks for reading this post!  As a gift, I’d like to give you this excellent eBook for FREE!  

CLICK HERE to learn more about the eBook, featuring chapters from John Spence, Jeff Klein, Charlie Kim, Michael Carroll, Ted Prince, David Marquet, and Ben Lichtenwalner.
Matt's Insights, Personal Development, Success In Life, Videos

How To See Opportunities Everywhere

For the last couple years, despite the struggling economy we’ve all slogged through, I’ve noticed something quite interesting.  I’ve been gradually seeing more and more opportunities.

In fact, my biggest challenge right now is determining which opportunities I should focus on most.  I am spending a good deal of time planning ways to pass opportunities off to others so that I can be more focused on the ones where I can have the greatest impact.
I’d like to share a little bit about why I think I’ve been gradually seeing more and more opportunities, and how you can do the same.
Since I began diligently practicing mindfulness, I’ve noticed a steady increase in my ability to see opportunities where most people see only problems.  I think there is a very simple explanation for this.
One of the core aspects of the practice of mindfulness is to face our things that bother us, things that are difficult, and things that are unpleasant or uncomfortable with a curious attitude of investigation. 
At first we do this on faith, as we’re told we might learn to be free from suffering if we practice in this way.  With continued practice though, we start to see the amazing results of fully facing and investigating the unpleasant aspects of life.
As we see these results, we begin to welcome things that are difficult, unpleasant, or uncomfortable, knowing that these are our greatest teachers and that facing these things results in opportunities to learn, grow, and serve others.
This ability to open ourselves to what most people try so hard to avoid or get rid of, results in a whole new way of seeing the world around us.  Instead of seeing problems, we see only opportunities.  It starts with little things like itches, discomfort, and difficult emotions, but gradually expands to encompass all of experience.  

Thanks for reading this post!  As a gift, I’d like to give you this excellent eBook for FREE!  

CLICK HERE to learn more about the eBook, featuring chapters from John Spence, Jeff Klein, Charlie Kim, Michael Carroll, Ted Prince, David Marquet, and Ben Lichtenwalner.
Matt's Insights, Mindfulness, Personal Development, Success In Life

Great Leaders Listen First

We often think of great leaders as being those people that can get up in front of a group and inspire them with their words.  This may be effective in the short term, when the group is new or the leader is new.  But leaders who excel over the long term know a simple secret that is quite contrary to the popular leader archetype of being a dynamic speaker.

Great leaders listen first.

Applying this has been very challenging for me.  My natural of way relating to others is this kind of arrogant belief that I have all the answers, and I can help everyone by giving them those answers.  From this basic starting point, I naturally tend to want to listen very little so I can get on to telling people what I think.  Do you ever notice this in your own life?

During my time living and training as a monk, one of the practices I took on was to talk very, very little.  The general practice was to speak only to greet people and ask them questions about themselves.  I would not say anything about myself or state any opinion or view unless I was directly asked to do so.

One of the effects of this practice is that my mind gradually became much more calm and peaceful.  I also noticed that people seemed to enjoy talking to me much more!  When we focus more on listening than on talking, we might find that despite saying very little people say of us, “Boy that so and so sure is a great conversationalist!”

There are countless reasons why listening first is so important as leaders.  Below are just a few:

  • Increases trust, which is vital for effective leadership
  • Helps people to feel truly cared for, which improves engagement, retention, creativity, and innovation
  • Develops future leaders by encouraging our people to think through problems versus getting the answers from us
  • Helps us to leverage the intelligence of our people more because they are more likely to speak up if we haven’t offered our opinions and views first
  • Helps us to develop greater mental agility, perhaps the most important trait for today’s managers, by letting go of our conditioned thought patterns

Do you listen first?  What are some tools you are applying to be a better listener?


Thanks for reading this post!  As a gift, I’d like to give you this excellent eBook for FREE!  

CLICK HERE to learn more about this eBook, featuring chapters from John Spence, Jeff Klein, Charlie Kim, Michael Carroll, Ted Prince, David Marquet, and Ben Lichtenwalner.
Communication, Leadership, Matt's Insights, Personal Development

A Mind Like The Ocean: A Practice for Being Free From Stress

One of my favorite metaphors for the fruits of the practice of mindfulness is cultivating a mind that is like an ocean – open and spacious.
Most of us have surely had days where so many things went “wrong” that we felt as though if just one more thing went “wrong”, we would lose it.  I know I’ve certainly had days like that.  It seemed as though the mind was just absolutely full and there wasn’t room to handle even one more frustrating situation.
With the continued practice of mindfulness, we tend to notice that the mind gradually becomes more spacious.   Sometimes, especially while sitting still in mindfulness, the mind seems so expansive and spacious that it is just like a vast ocean, with almost endless room between the thoughts and feelings that arise.
With this spaciousness comes a gradually deepening sense of “There’s room for this.”  We develop a wonderful capacity for being able to be confronted with increasing amounts of challenging situations without losing this sense of, “There’s room for this too.  This is no problem.”
Ultimately, it is insight into the fact that our thoughts and our feelings are not we are that allows the mind to become and remain more spacious.  However, there are some skillful means that we can employ to get a sense of this while sitting in mindfulness.  My favorite practice is to open the mind by becoming aware of and kindly accepting increasingly larger areas around me.
I start with gently smiling to the body sitting in the room I’m in for a few breaths, noticing whatever comes in through the senses.  Then, I continue to expand in the same way to my neighborhood, my town, my state, the country, and then the whole planet.
With a mind that’s more open and spacious, I then return to simply being aware of the mind and body.  I notice that there seems to be a little more space between the thoughts that arise in the mind.  Thus, it becomes easier to actually see or hear a thought arise in the mind, bring it up so it’s fully conscious, and see or hear it fade away, leaving me observing an empty, silent mind.

Seeing thoughts arise and pass away in this way makes it very clear that I am not my thinking.  Thoughts are just things that arise and pass away.  It is this insight into the fact that we are not our thinking that allows the mind to gradually remain more spacious, able to handle increasingly difficult situations in life with perfect peace.

Does your mind often feel as though it’s too busy and full?  Would you like to have a mind like the ocean?


Thanks for reading this post!  As a gift, I’d like to give you this excellent eBook for FREE!  

Just CLICK HERE, and I’ll send you this eBook, featuring chapters from John Spence, Jeff Klein, Charlie Kim, Michael Carroll, Ted Prince, David Marquet, and Ben Lichtenwalner.
Matt's Insights, Mindfulness, Personal Development, Success In Life

How You Can Lead More Like Martin Luther King, Jr.

This is an intro to a piece that I wrote for the Huffington Post.

Last week, as I reflected on the 50th anniversary of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s famous speech, it occurred to me that Dr. King is certainly one of the most influential leaders in American history. Have you ever wondered why that is so? Answering this question can help us to be more effective leaders.

There were, of course, numerous factors that contributed to Dr. King becoming the de facto leader of the civil rights movement in America. However, it is clear that the principle cause is the fact that Dr. King was incredibly inspiring. He was able touch people’s hearts in a way that few others in history ever have. Fortunately for us, his secrets for inspiring others and moving them to action are traits that we can all emulate.

If you’d like to read the entire post, please CLICK HERE.

Thanks for reading this post!  As a gift, I’d like to give you this excellent eBook for FREE!  

Just CLICK HERE, and I’ll send you this eBook, featuring chapters from John Spence, Jeff Klein, Charlie Kim, Michael Carroll, Ted Prince, David Marquet, and Ben Lichtenwalner.
Huffington Post, Personal Development, Servant Leadership

The Power of Smiling

If you are practicing awareness or mindfulness as part of your personal development training, you’ll notice that when you awaken with the perspective of mindfulness, and are no longer caught in your thinking, you are free to choose how you respond to whatever you are experiencing. Why not choose to smile?

If we’re angry, we can notice that, and smile to our anger.   If we’re sad, we can smile to our sadness. When we see a person, we can smile to that person.
There are so many positive effects that result from smiling, including the feeling of joy, relaxation, improved functioning of the nervous system, being more attractive to others, and even living a longer, healthier life!
Below is a wonderful, 7-minute TED talk on many of the incredible benefits of simply smiling.
In addition to all of the wonderful benefits for ourselves that result from smiling, I truly believe that smiling is one of the most important things we can do to create positive change in the world around us.
I think it’s very easy to feel as though what we do in our daily life is having little or no impact on the world around us. But this not so! Each moment of our life has an incredible impact on the world around us.
We are almost all familiar with the “Butterfly Effect”. Although this is an analogy, it is certainly not fiction. Little, local events do lead to large, global events.
If a butterfly flapping her wings can ultimately lead to a change in the global weather pattern known as El Niño, imagine what your smile can do! Without any doubt, your smile could save the world!

Putting this into practice is so simple. Whenever you wake up with the perspective of mindfulness, smile a little (or a lot)! You are free from your thoughts and feelings, so why not choose to smile? You’ll benefit significantly, the people around you will benefit, and, who knows, you just might save the world while you’re at it!

Thanks for reading this post!  As a gift, I’d like to give you this excellent eBook for FREE!  

Just CLICK HERE, and I’ll send you this eBook, featuring chapters from John Spence, Jeff Klein, Charlie Kim, Michael Carroll, Ted Prince, David Marquet, and Ben Lichtenwalner.
Matt's Insights, Mindfulness, Personal Development, Success In Life

Getting More Engagement From Your Online Community – Patrick O’Keefe

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Getting More Engagement From Your Online Community: An interview with social media expert Patrick O’Keefe

Patrick O’Keefe is the founder of the iFroggy Network, a publisher of websites. He has been managing online communities since 2000 and is the author of Managing Online Forums, a practical guide to managing online communities and social spaces, and Monetizing Online Forums, a blueprint for monetizing them the right way. He has been responsible for the creation and cultivation of communities like KarateForums.com and PhotoshopForums.com. Patrick blogs about online community at ManagingCommunities.com.

I had the opportunity to interview Patrick recently and pick his brain about how to increase engagement from our online community.

Patrick, I think that just about everyone is aware that social media is an important element of their organization’s marketing efforts. However, it seems that most organizations, mine included, don’t get as much engagement through social media as we would like to have. Could you offer three ideas for increasing engagement with blogs and microblog platforms like Facebook and Twitter?


It all goes back to simple things. There really aren’t any secrets. First, create great content. In a world filled with surface level, throw away content, truly passionate, meaningful and helpful content stands out and gains a following that engages with it. Second, share your spotlight. Highlight the work of others in your community (the people who engage with your content) and do so through your content and platforms. Third, respond to comments and express appreciation.
Your strongest area of expertise is in building and managing online forums. What types of organizations do you think could benefit from adding an online forum to their social media mix?
Organizations that want to go deeper with their community and don’t want to be held hostage by third party providers. I love Facebook, Twitter and other platforms but when it comes down to it, Twitter owns twitter.com/you. You don’t. You need to build spaces that you own. That could be a forum, it could be a blog, it could be a great website. But hosting a forum of passionate members is deeply valuable and since you host it, you are able to decide where to take it, what to add to it and what changes you can make. You aren’t locked into someone else’s platform.
Not every organization should start a forum. Not by a long shot. Most probably shouldn’t. They are hard work. But for those that have the type of following or community that would have an interest in going deeper and in engaging in a more meaningful way, they represent a great opportunity.

What are a few benefits that online forums add that an organization is less likely to see from other social media platforms? 

On other platforms, you are limited by what those platforms allow you to do – especially third party platforms that you don’t control. When you host a forum or online community, you have access to the members and to the database of content and, as such, can do whatever you want with the platform. Want to add a feature? You can. Want to upgrade your software? You can. You have the flexibility and the ownership to actually make deeper connections with your community.

I don’t mean to use the term “surface level” again so soon, but that’s what a lot of interaction on the social web is. A retweet there, a meaningless click of the follow button. When people actually visit your community and engage in a platform that encourages discussion, you are talking about a different level of power.

Could you offer a few simple first steps for starting and building an audience with an online forum for a leader who sees the benefits of adding and online forum to the organization’s website?

Understand that you do not cater to everyone. You cater to a specific audience. Pursue them and allow all of your decisions to speak to that pursuit. Commit to the long term. Online communities can take years to be really successful. At least commit to 6 months. If you can’t do that, it’s probably best to not pretend that you have an interest in fostering community. Launch with community guidelines and policies and be ready to moderate. Finally, launch with people. Identify people that will contribute prior to launch and will help you get the ball rolling.

Thanks for reading this post!  As a gift, I’d like to give you this excellent eBook for FREE!  

Just CLICK HERE, and I’ll send you this eBook, featuring chapters from John Spence, Jeff Klein, Charlie Kim, Michael Carroll, Ted Prince, David Marquet, and Ben Lichtenwalner.
Interviews, Social Media

The Referral Engine – John Jantsch – How to Teach Your Business to Market Itself

A Review of The Referral Engine, By John Jantsch

How to get more referrals and word-of-mouth exposure for your organization.

A while back my good friend and mentor, John Spence, recommended a book called The Referral Engine, by John Jantsch. 
I put it off because I didn’t see how it would help me to help my audience improve their leadership skills.  I finally decided to read it just for me, because it seemed like a good tool for helping me to expand my potential for serving.
This book was fantastic! 
Both the quality and the quantity of the guidance offered by John Jantsch in this book are incredible.  I have not taken so many notes while reading a book in a long time.  The only problem is that there are so many ideas I want to implement, I’m having to create a plan for gradual implementation to ensure I eventually get to them all.
As it turns out, the book is also a great resource for any type of leader. 
  • You’ll find ideas for making systemic changes in how you serve your customers or members, including ideas for creating happier customers by helping employees to be happier, which is perfectly in line with my mission
  • You’ll learn how to create a system for generating more referrals and word-of-mouth exposure
  • You’ll also find more tactical ideas than you could probably ever implement for building a so-called “referral engine”

I highly recommend this book to any leader.  I also highly recommend that you take lots of notes and be prepared to do some work that could transform your business.
What could more referrals and word-of-mouth exposure do for your organization?


Thanks for reading this post!  As a gift, I’d like to give you this excellent eBook for FREE!  

Just CLICK HERE, and I’ll send you this eBook, featuring chapters from John Spence, Jeff Klein, Charlie Kim, Michael Carroll, Ted Prince, David Marquet, and Ben Lichtenwalner.
Book Reviews, Customer Service, Marketing